


Kate Stewart and her reluctance to believe in soulmates

by Avidfangirlforlife



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-15 14:13:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11232696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avidfangirlforlife/pseuds/Avidfangirlforlife
Summary: I don't know what this is particularly, except perhaps a soulmate au nobody asked for.





	Kate Stewart and her reluctance to believe in soulmates

On a nondescript Tuesday morning, in the middle of October when she is 26, Kate pauses in her teaching because she is overcome with a burning sensation across her back. It makes her pause in the middle of a sentence, her students staring at her in a strange way, because it is all father unexpected.

Being Kate, which means the embodiment of British reserve, she tries her best to appear unflappable. The burning sensation is focused over where her left kidney is, hot and sharp, but not altogether awful. She knows what it is, almost immediately what it is registers. So, without further ado, she finds cover for her class, tells said cover she will be back in twenty minutes, and heads for the staff toilets.

She does all of this in a calm and collected manner, unflappable Kate Stewart through and through. She walks slowly, hands in her pockets, chin up. Dawdling up the school hallways, humming under her breath. Anyone whom knew her though, and that is a very reserved few, would be able to tell that something was not quite right.

For all of her pretence, of being calm and rather relaxed, her shoulders were tensed to the point of muscles protesting beneath her blazer. Her eyes shone slightly too brightly, glassy looking from beneath her tears.

She knows what the burning sensation means, doesn't want it to mean anything. But it does. And when she arrives at the staff toilets, stomach roiling with dread, she finds that her prediction was right. Across her left kidney, in rather bold script, is the name 'Osgood'. No fuss about it, and that's all she has to go on.

Even as the burning pain leeches away, the name remains imprinted on her skin. She knows, with the utmost certainty, that it will remain a part of her until the day she dies. Shakily, she pushes down a toilet seat and places herself upon it. Because, for a long while, she had thought it had missed her.

She'd never really bought into the whole soulmate hullabaloo, had thought her lack of a name proved this. Nobody could explain the science behind it, so Kate had never really found herself all that interested in it. She'd ignored the fact that it happened to almost everyone, refused to believe that she couldn't love another person if it wasn't written in the stars, and had gotten on with her life.

Now, she realises, her soulmate had caught up with her. It is with a sinking heart, and an inexplicably dry throat, that she considers what this means. She has a son at home, little Gordy, and a husband. A husband who doesn't have a name anywhere on his body, which they had both seen as a reason for them working. Compatible, because neither of them had a soulmate.

Except one, apparently she did. She resolves that she'll have to tell Tom, as soon as possible. They don't keep secrets from one another. Never have and never will. She allows herself to consider this person, this Osgood, whom has somehow managed to turn her life upside down in a mere matter of minutes. Without even once being present.

She finds herself picturing a woman, all glasses and awkwardness and brown hair. She finds that her cheeks colour, first out of warmth for an imagined stranger and then out of shame. She tries not to think about why a woman was the first image to come to mind, because that's not something to consider in the moment.

Kate resolves to just get on with the day, soldier through and deal with it when she has the time. So she takes a deep breath, checks her watch and pushes herself up from the toilet seat. After taking a second to rearrange herself in the mirror, being rumpled simply won't do, she heads back to class. Throws herself into her teaching and tries to forget about the name. Distracts herself with her students and tries not to think about the way in which, when she puts her hands on her hips, her thumb brushes against the 'O' of the name. Doesn't allow herself to consider the warmth that sits in her chest at such a gesture.

\--------

She tells her husband the very same night. Once they have eaten dinner together and gotten little Gordy off to bed. In a hesitant manner, very unlike Kate in her delivery, she informs him of the arrival of such a name. She keeps the fact that she pictures a woman with the name to herself, because what Tom doesn't know can't hurt him.

In a gentle voice (because he has always been a gentle man) he asks to see it. Without any hesitation in her actions, she shucks off her blazer and pulls her blouse up, so he can see it. When she releases her shirt, he looks at her for a long moment. Although there is hurt present in his eyes, he still looks at her in that gentle way of his.

He says that he supposes (and he sounds slightly resigned) that it was bound to happen eventually. Because how could it not? Nearly everyone has a name, although they normally arrive by the time a person turns sixteen. Still, he says, neither of them know an Osgood. Not presently, and they never have. Something about the name seems to resonate with her, but she can't quite bring herself to mention this.

Eventually, he smiles at Kate, and pulls her to him. Says that it's not her fault, and that they still love one another, so they can work past it. She agrees, and as the weeks go by she tries to ignore the shadow that seems to sit between them. Can't help but feel like she is the cause. And even as she ignores it, it hurts her. Because she loves her husband, and her son, and their little family.

As the weeks turn into months, she thinks the shadow between them now sits at the bottom of a chasm. And Kate finds that she isn't quite sure how to bridge such a gap, can't quite think clearly through the fog of unhappiness she finds herself wrapped in. She has another's name written on her, but that doesn't mean she suddenly stopped loving her husband.

At the altar, more than three years beforehand, she had stood before everyone she loved in the world, and promised to stay the course of the future by his side. A name on her skin or not, that hadn't changed. She ignores the unhappy feeling and tries to be happy in all that she has, she ignores the way he won't touch that one particular patch of skin, above where her left kidney is.

Months later, she finds herself pregnant, just before Gordy's second birthday. And everything is perfect once again. Or so it seems. Her and Tom have another beautiful baby boy, and it knits them back together for a while. Fixes all of the problems that had once come between them in the form of a name. Charlie draws them back together, or so Kate thinks.

She raises her sons, and loves her family, loves her job. Her sons start to grow, until they are no longer babies and she begins to notice the cracks in her marriage. But she ignores them, because they love one another, and she blames herself for the break down. Ignoring the problem, she finds, is the only way she knows to glue it all back together and make it stick.

\-----

One day, when her sons are slightly older, she receives a phone call from her father. He says, straight off the bat, that there is a job for her, in Geneva if she wants it. A rears have job, under UNIT, and she has the specific skills set for the job. He says that he thinks it would be good for her, because she needs a challenge, and no matter how much she may love teaching that simply isn't it.

It isn't the first time he has offered her a job of some kind, through his connections, and Kate knows that it wouldn't be the last. He wants her to make the most of her potential. Thinks she is wasted on teaching, no matter how much she may love it. Normally, she would decline without hesitation. Explain that she loved her job, that her family needed her, that the boys were too young for her to be away from for such a period of time. But, for the first time, she tells her father that she will think about it. Talk to her husband about it.

The more she thinks about it, the more she finds herself inclined to take her father up on the offer. It's exciting, and for some reason, she feels as though she is on the brink of something. She's not quite sure what, but it seems important. Recently, she had found herself yearning for something more, something to challenge herself with.

The boys were away at boarding school, both full time boarders although they weren't yet teenagers (at Tom's insistence). As the years had gone by, her husband had begun working longer and longer hours, avoiding being at home as much as possible. She'd found herself with a lot of alone time, time for just her and her thoughts. 

She tried to stay away from thoughts of whomever 'Osgood' was, but she often found herself thinking about her. It had been more than ten years since the name had appeared on her skin, though it sometimes felt like yesterday, and she had still yet to meet her supposed soulmate. Thinking of her didn't do Kate any good, because it wasn't as if the arrival of her would fix all that seemed to be going wrong in her life.

She couldn't quite explain what the problems were, not to an outsider at least. Form an outside perspective, she knew that her life seemed somewhat perfect, and she knew that she really was very lucky. She had two wonderful sons (something she would not change for the world), a hard working husband, a job that she loved and a nice house to go with it all. On the surface, she was sure that it seemed as though there was nothing much to complain about.

But something wasn't quite right and it hadn't been for a while. It wasn't necessarily that she was deeply unhappy, just mildly so. When her sons were around, everything was lovely. But their father had insisted they go to boarding school, as both he and Kate had done, and so she had no on but herself to focus her attention on.

She could almost swear to her father sensing something of this kind, timing his call when he knew she was most likely to be swayed. And swayed she was. A part of her, the most selfish part that she never allowed herself to listen to, was tempted to agree and pack her bags. Stop only to tell her children that she had been offered a new job.

The more rational part of Kate told her to stay put, to talk to her husband before she made a decision. So, on a Thursday afternoon (the only day on which she didn't have to stay for after hours meetings), she headed over to her husband's office so that they could talk through her father's proposal.

On arriving, she had found her husband screwing his secretary against his desk. And while her heart had broken in that moment, she had also found some resolve. Before she could really comprehend what she had been doing, she had called her father and agreed to the position, spoken to her boys and gotten the divorce rolling. Tom hadn't so much as been able to face her, slinking back to the house during school hours.

It wasn't so much the cheating that made her angry, although it got to her that he hadn't been able to tell her wasn't happy. The thing about it that made her angry was the guilt she had been living with for eleven years. For eleven years, a large part of her had to deal with the guilt of knowing that someday, a complete stranger may get in the way of the marriage she had built. And yet, he had cheated and not felt guilt in his actions.

She agrees to go to Geneva, and finds herself genuine excited for it.

\--------  
The first time she meets Osgood, it is in the back of a taxi in Geneva, on the way to their first conference. It's 2002, and her divorce is well on it's way to becoming a reality. She meets her at a moment she least expects it, and she finds herself surprised to the fullest. If someone had told her, even moments before, that she was about to meet her soulmate, she would not have believed them.

She introduces herself, and sees a look flit across the younger woman's face. Somehow, she finds that she doesn't quite understand the look, but she tries not to read into it too much. Almost subconsciously, she finds herself noting how very pretty the other woman is. She ignores the way her heart flutters, and resolves to be friendly, but not much more.

As the months pass in Geneva, her and Osgood develop a quiet sort of camaraderie. Which, in time, develops into a much deeper and closer friendship. She finds, as the months go by, that she can not imagine her life without Osgood in it. In any way or shape or form. She also finds that when she is in Osgood's company, she can forget about her divorce and the betrayal of a man she spent most of her adult life loving.

When their time in Geneva ends, just before Christmas, the two of them promise to keep in contact. So, when she buys a house in a quiet London suburb (her father may have tipped her off about a job she is to be offered), it is only natural that she should invite Osgood round. When she gains sole custody of her sons, it seems natural for her to introduce them to Osgood.

Months later, one evening in late July, after the night has gone quiet, it feels quite natural for the two of them to be sat on Kate's sofa, side by side. They're pressed together from shoulder to hip, and Kate tries her best not to notice the heat emanating from the other woman. Nor how nice it feels to touch her in such an easy way.

She finds herself with a question on the tip of her tongue, nervous but not, because really? She thinks it has been in the making for weeks, if not months. Before she has the chance to ask Osgood, the younger woman blurts out a question that shocks her, even as Osgood refuses to look at her.

"Are you mine too Kate?"

Osgood doesn't look at her, instead focuses on picking at a loose thread on the seam of her chinos. Kate can only imagine how much courage it took her to ask such a question, after a build up of quite so many months. So she sits forward, moves away from Osgood's warmth, and pulls her loose shirt up to her midriff.

She hears Osgood's breath stutter to a stop in her throat, even as fingers come forward to trace the name. She turns around when the hand withdraws, finds Osgood with her long sleeves rolled up to her elbows, and it strikes Kate that this is the first time she has seen the other woman with her forearm bared.

Her name, her full name, is written in a ringlet around Osgood's forearm. Kate Bernadette Lethbridge-Stewart. It encircles her, halfway between her wrist and elbow. Osgood looks at her shyly, head bowed and arm exposed. Trusting Kate like she does not trust most people. And in that moment, she finds herself struck by the woman before her. 

And she realises, perhaps for the first time, exactly what a soulmate was. At least, for her. It wasn't something trivial, something that had popped up to inconvenience her and ruin her marriage. It was something that gave her the chance to live another person completely, in whatever way they chose to love one another. The names imprinted on one another were not to force, but rather to act as a hint. To point one towards the one person whom could improve their life in a way that no other could manage.

It was a choice, a chance to accept great happiness, if only one could come to see that. For years, Kate had rejected every positive outlook on soul mates. Had held it as the cause for the first crack in her marriage. But then, she supposed, all things had their natural life cycle. If her marriage had ended, then it was evidently supposed to end, all reasoning aside.

So, she takes Osgood's hand, and ask the question she had found herself wanting to ask all night. And Osgood smiles at Kate, in a way that can only be described as beaming, and it sets her heart beating tenfold. She settles back against the sofa, pressed against Osgood's side. Nestled against one another, Kate thinks, she has never felt so at home. And so, she thinks, perhaps soulmates aren't so bad after all.


End file.
